Doubt
I'm more than ever doubting this public blogging thing.
I tell myself it's mainly for my own benefit, and I feel the arguments are there for it.
But despite this focus, I can't help but having the (non-existent) audience in my head when I write. And it makes me hesitate and hold back.
Maybe people look at me as a developer, and they find these other things I write very weird.
Maybe people kind of like my random posts, but find my posts regarding development really bad.
Maybe friends and family might see the blog and wonder why the hell I write these things publicly online?
Maybe future employers might read this and think I'm unqualified?
Imposter syndrome.
What's the point anyway? It's not like important things are going on here. Its just kind of widespread random notes ranging from development to note-taking and anything in between.
But then the other side of my brain is saying; why are you so damn self centered? Just write, and live on. Nobody cares anyway. Stop acting like you're famous.
Maybe this is a case like Steve Jobs referred to in his Harvard Speech:
"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."
Steve Jobs
I might of course be wrong, but somehow it feels like it's worth pushing through the resistance.
I don't know.